How To Live Like An Animal
by pricklypompoms
Summary: In a careless attempt to save Klaus from Davina's faulty spell, Elijah, Kol and Rebekah now have to face living in a world made for humans as animals. Tune in to see how they fare in living in the human world as animals. Rated T 'cause I'm paranoid. Kol's alive!
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! This is my first published fanfic! I'm still trying to get a hold on things with all of these settings, so please bear with me.**

* * *

INTRODUCTION: THE SPELL

In a dark cellar in the middle of the cemetery, Klaus was chained up, quivering in anger. Davina sat down on the chair in front of him, wearing a smug smile on her lips, preparing candles and herbs on the table.

"This will teach you to never mess with the witches of the Quarter ever again," Davina hissed, preparing to chant aloud.

Klaus struggled in the chains, but it was no use, for the witches outside the cellar had enchanted it with some sort of unescapable spell. Feeling the searing feeling in his veins, he started screaming, alerting his siblings.

"I hear Nik's screams. He's in the cellar! Get to him!" Rebekah shouted, tears in her eyes.

Elijah, Kol and Rebekah quickly ran and knocked out the circle of witches, then destroyed the door to the cellar. However, Davina refused to be interrupted, continuing the last verse. The three siblings did not bother with Davina and tore off Klaus' chains. Klaus collapsed into Kol's body, and Elijah was helping to carry their hybrid brother away.

"The spell is complete." a tranced Davina declared.

The four Mikaelson siblings collapsed, and the whole world was black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Maybe I will upload a new chapter every Sunday. For those living on the other side of the world (US side) that means Saturday. Anyway, be sure to review! Enjoy!**

* * *

CHAPTER ONE: What Has Happened To Me?

When Elijah awoke, he realized that the chair looked gigantic- scratch that, everything looked gigantic, as if he had shrunk. Feeling something like a blanket, he looked down and gasped in horror.

He had indeed shrunk. His poor suit, crinkled and tattered, had become his blanket. Grabbing the pieces, he led out a scream of surprise. His hands! What happened to his hands?! The humanoid hands had become flippers, and when he looked down, he could see a big white stomach instead of his feet. Looking at the mirror of the cellar, he had seen that Elijah Mikaelson, oldest living vampire, was no more, but a rather big, fat penguin who was unable to see his feet._ At least my skin looks like a suit. Look at the bright side, Elijah._ he thought.

Hearing his siblings stir, he waddled as fast as he could to them, picking up his tie and trying to put it back on. There was a wolf, kangaroo and a snake. _I'm guessing that the wolf is Niklaus, the kangaroo Rebekah and the snake is Kol._ Elijah thought, letting out a loud arp in achievement when he could put back on his tie.

Kol was the second one to wake up, and when he tried to push himself up, he realized something.

"I HAVE NO LIMBSSSSSSS! Help!" Kol hissed loudly.

However, after a few seconds, Kol the snake slithered out of a kangaroo and a wolf, curling up and standing up on his backbone.

"Good morning, Kol," Elijah greeted, still reveling in the achievement on being able to put on the tie.

Kol snapped his head to the sound, seeing a form of penguin.

"Elijah... Sssssince when have you become ssssso fat?" Kol whispered, eyes narrowing, slithering closer to Elijah.

Elijah let out a angry hoot, running his flipper over his tummy, which let out a sickening squelch because of all those fats. He was also a tad bit frustrated because Kol's emphasis on the 's' was particularly annoying.

Rebekah suddenly bounced off of her wolf brother, waking the latest sleeper. Klaus let out a rumbling howl, while Rebekah was bouncing around, shocked by her ability to bounce. But when she realized that she didn't have human hands anymore, she let out a piercing scream.

"I'm no longer a vampire! I'm- I'm a-" Rebekah screamed, hyperventilating.

"Kangaroo. Apparently Davina has somehow succeeded her spell on all of us," Elijah continued.

Klaus stood up in his four legs but showed no surprise, and eyed his three siblings. The penguin with the tie was surely Elijah, the snake with the glinting eyes was surely Kol. That meant that Rebekah was a kangaroo. She was still sobbing while Kol tried unhelpfully to console her.

"Hey. Bekah. Look at the bright sssside. At leasssssst you have a built in pouch. You can like, ssssstore thingsssssss." Kol consoled, in a quiet voice.

Rebekah cried even more.

"Not helping, Kol." Elijah sighed, facepalming his face.

Klaus started pawing the door, desperately trying to twist the doorknob. He let out a frustrated growl, and was a tad bit peeved.

"Does anyone have opposable thumbs? This used to be so easy..." Klaus gruffed, walking away from the door.

Everyone's eyes fell onto Elijah. Elijah sighed, but did not go forward to help.

"As you can see, I am a little short here. Though I have near opposable flippers."

Kol dropped, and slithered to Elijah, pushing him near the door, and then curling around him, hoisting him up. The snake however, didn't have so much strength in the backbone.

"Hurry up, Elijah. My backbone breakssssss," Kol snapped.

Elijah fumbled with the doorknob, but after a few seconds, the doorknob turned and the door opened. Klaus ran out and Rebekah hopped out. Elijah triumphantly waddled out with Kol following close behind.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER TWO: THE CITY

"Now how the hell are we going to get home?" Rebekah asked, frustrated.

Elijah sighed, trying to sit down, but his fat stomach didn't allow it, and he was on his belly. Kol slithered and was on his back. Using his flippers, Elijah took a stick and started drawing on a map, and his eyes lit up.

"We have two ways- one is more discreet and one is well, more showy. If we pass the bog, we will get home without anyone noticing, but it is crawling with werewolves. Even with Niklaus we wouldn't be able to make it. So, I propose we go by the city and back home. We can even go to a supermarket, but we will be constantly watched." Elijah proposed, holding up a dozen hundred dollar notes.

Klaus scoffed and then nodded. Since when were the Mikalesons afraid of being showy or making an entrance? They weren't just ordinary animals. Passing by the city it is then.

Elijah flipped up and Kol jumped onto Klaus' back, causing the wolf to growl. He wasn't just some garden snake, he was a giant reticulated python, about 50 feet long, with thick skin.

HALF AN HOUR LATER...

Everyone was staring at them. People often stopped talking, dropping their glasses, or just jumped up in fright, especially when they saw a reticulated python that big. Kol grinned, enjoying the fear that he brought to people's hearts.

He slithered out and curled up on a bicycle and accidentally crushing it with ease. After discovering this ability, he started crushing other things too- fences, railings, and lamposts.

Meanwhile, Elijah had trouble with teenage girls and young children. His squishy stomach made him look like a cuddly and hug-friendly plush toy, so many children and teenage girls wanted to hug him.

"He's so freakin' soft!"

"Mommy! Can I take him home?"

"He's so squishy!"

"If he was a guy, I would totally date him."

All this hugging made the penguin dizzy, and he fell on his stomach, and somehow manage to make it look cute. There were 'awwwws' everywhere and he was receiving jealous glares from every human-like guy, and Kol as well.

"Sssssince when wassss Elijah ssssssuch a pimp? He'sssss getting girlsssss without even trying!" Kol hissed, crushing the lampost, making it look like it was about to collapse.

"Jealous, Kol?" Rebekah sneered, sitting on her tail.

Kol let out a loud hiss and struck her with his tail.

And, after fifteen horrible dizzy minutes, people stopped hugging the poor penguin and Elijah waddled back, a tad bit disoriented. Klaus nudged his brother a bit, while Kol hissed at his oldest brother's face.

"It looks like you have been a real fan favorite," Klaus observed, lifting his brother back on his feet.

"All that hugging makes me so hungry... Fish..." Elijah struggled out.

"Eew. Fissssh wasssss never your favorite." Kol hissed, spitting out saliva.

"All I want now is a bigggg fish. TO THE SUPERMARKET!" Elijah blared.


	4. Chapter 4

**A BIG thank-you to all those who read, reviewed or gave suggestions to this story. It means a lot to a first-time publisher and a relatively new watcher of TVD and TO. Now, for some question answering time...**

**Well, the queen of slurking, I had an idea for this story, but didn't know what Rebekah's character would be. So, if Claire's Australian, kangaroos then. I heard that Australians really love their kangaroos, though I have never been there. Also, they aren't as strong as they were, but they are smarter, stronger and faster than average animals.**

**DISCLAIMER: Read this chapter now, or you will be missing Pop-Tarts and fish from your kitchen tonight. Enjoy at your own risk!**

* * *

CHAPTER THREE: The Supermarket

The foursome walked till they saw what looked like a supermarket. They were in a great mood, until they met the shopping cart and its animal-unfriendly coin slots.

"Greedy pigssss! Why will they torment ussssss with thosssssse infernal coin slotssss?" Kol snapped, wrapping the shopping cart and glaring at the coin slot with an eye.

"It's to ensure that people don't steal them," Klaus reasoned, standing up. "Not that it will work."

Securing his arms on the handle, Klaus pulled as hard as he could. The shopping cart broke free, and Rebekah started to push it. Klaus followed behind, Kol wrapped up the cart and Elijah was hoisted into it.

"What should we get first?" Rebekah asked, hopping along as she pushed the cart.

"Fish." Elijah blurted out. His three siblings glared at him with 'I-will-kill-you' eyes.

"Or... Whatever you wish..." Elijah quickly continued diplomatically, backing into an end of the shopping cart.

Kol reached out for something brownish from the counter, though Elijah's vision wasn't so clear, it was rather large stiff object.

"Here, fatssssso. Cover your face up or you won't get any girlsssss!" Kol chided, like a mother whose son wasn't wearing any clothes.

"I refuse to wear a paper bag." Elijah said simply, and Kol hissed, placing the paper bag over his head.

"You look sssssso..._ beautiful_. It almossssst makesssss me want to _cry_," Kol sneered, using his tail like a tissue.

"It's like a little Project Runway. Season 6," Rebekah sneered, patting Elijah's head, driving it deeper into the bag.

"No kidding, Elijah. Looks almost as good as Finn in a tu-tu," Klaus played along.

Kol and Rebekah stopped laughing and let out a vomiting sound, almost in sync. Elijah sighed inside the paper bag, struggling to get it out.

"You know what? _Don't_ wear that paper bag," Kol concluded, using his tail and dragging the paper bag out of his brother's head and flinging it somewhere else.

Unfortunately, it landed in some motorcycle driver's face. (I'm pretty sure you know what happens next.)

"What's that I hear, Rebekah?" Klaus asked, turning his head to the exit of the supermarket.

"I don't know, Nik! Let's just finish shopping." Rebekah answered, pushing the shopping cart.

They went to first section of the supermarket, which was all those snacks like Pop-Tarts and cereal. To Kol, who had somehow never been to a supermarket because he couldn't be bothered, his eyes widened at the variety of snacks. Elijah sighed, staring at Kol in horror.

"Dear Lord, no one may be listening, but I am in dire need of assistance-" Elijah prayed.

"I'm gonna buy_ all_ of them." Kol sneered, sounding like an evil child, waving his tail over the entire section.

"Oh no." Klaus dreaded, putting his paws on his face.

After 15 minutes of bickering and negotiating, Klaus, Elijah and Rebekah had come to a mutual agreement to 15 boxes of Pop-Tarts. The negotiation went a little bit like this:

"You can't buy all of them, Kol." Rebekah growled.

"Why can't I? We have the moolah," Kol reasoned.

"It is not '_we_' that have the money, it is_ me_. Therefore,_ I_ make the choices." Elijah assertively said.

"What a greedy asssss."

"Says the one that wants Pop-Tarts and at least 30 types of cereal." Klaus countered, rolling his eyes.

"Okay fine! How about 15 boxesssssss of Pop-Tartssssss?"

"Agreed." Elijah concluded.

Elijah and Kol did their best to gather together the boxes of Pop-Tarts. Sometimes, Elijah or Rebekah would fumble with them.

"Careful, ssssstupid! They are my babiesssss!" Kol hissed with narrowed eyes.

Rebekah rolled her eyes, trying to help out. Meanwhile, the humans of the shopping mall were staring at the animals bicker at each other, and then helping each other out. Some teenage girls were snapping photographs, and some children had to be restrained. To the Mikalesons, it was perfect English, but to the human watchers, it was just random sounds.

"Mommy, what are those animals doing over there?" a young kid asked, sitting on the shopping cart seat.

The mother didn't answer, but narrowed her eyes and gave a phone call, going behind some shelves.

The Mikaleson siblings went through some parts of the supermarket, for they didn't need to buy soft drinks or can food. And skipped right into the vegetables and fruits department.

"There, there, Rebekah. You must eat your vegetablessssss, all you will look like an old haaaag!" Kol sang, lifting himself high in the air.

"I must admit, sister. Vegetables look quite..._ unappetizing_ for a penguin." Elijah admitted, dropping a stalk of celery.

Klaus smelled the vegetables and went to the other side of the cart, grunting.

Rebekah scoffed and picked out a few vegetables and apples.

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...

Elijah was jumping up and down when he caught sight of a fish being placed on some ice. He was impatient, and then, when he was only an inch to the fish, he grabbed it and kissed it on its lips.

"_You_ are truly a sight to behold, madam." Elijah complimented, hugging the fish and rubbing it all over his huge stomach and body.

"I'm _pretty_ sssssure it'ssss a boy," Kol interrupted, going forward and squinting at the fish.

"Whatever. She is still beautiful," Elijah dismissively said, gripping the fish hard and kissing it.

Klaus stalked away and came back with a few pieces of steak, some of the transparent wrap caught in his teeth. He fumbled with it, and it got stuck with in his paws.

"Infernal transparent wrap! Get off my paws! Don't just stand there! DO SOMETHING!" Klaus scolded, stamping on it.

Kol daintily used his teeth, but the wrap got stuck on his fangs. He stared at it with burning hate, before shaking his head and letting the wrap go. Before Elijah could lay a bite on the fish, Rebekah snatched it away, despite her brother's protests and placed it in the shopping cart.

"Before you eat the fish, let's get it through the checkout line." Rebekah chided, pushing the cart.

* * *

**HOLD UP! There are fans of TVD ad TO in my small nation (hint: super small)? *Bert realization gif***

**SPOILER: Something terrible happens to our famous foursome. They will never reach the Mikaelson Mansion, at least in a few chapters. Suggestions are always welcome, for I'll always try to see a way round it!**


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FOUR: Uh Oh

As the four siblings entered the checkout area, their jaw dropped onto the floor. Looking out at every counter, there was a really, really long line. Elijah was cradling the fish and mumbling about his fish not being fresh anymore, earning glares from his siblings.

"You and your _stupid_ fish are the only things you care about in the world!" Rebekah scolded, slapping Elijah's head.

Elijah stared at his sister with conviction, before placing the fish back into the cart.

"The line'ssssss even longer than _me_! Didn't think that wasssss possssssible..." Kol exclaimed in surprise, twisting his head looking at the line.

"There are many things in the world that are longer than you, Kol," Klaus countered, rolling his eyes, peeking out to see the huge line.

"There's our target! Get the animals!" A masculine voice bellowed.

The siblings turned around, only to see a team of eight men and women dressed in light brown shorts with pockets and black trousers with cages and equipment for containing animals, accompanied by two Rottweiler dogs. They were talking to a woman who had made the call.

"Not cool, madam! Not cool! I would have given you the finger... If I could," Klaus commented, staring at his paws.

The eight-strength animal control team were starting to close in on them, with the woman following them. Kol darted to the two dogs with astonishing speed, before wrapping himself around them.

"Go, you idiotssss! Go!" Kol shouted, trying to suffocate the dogs, though he had never suffocated a living thing before. Before long, there was a sickening crack, and the men of the team stopped pursuing his siblings.

"RORY! JAWS! Get the snake! Kill it! He killed the dogs!" a women screamed, tears flowing down her face, aiming the tranquilizer darts.

"Gah!" Kol screamed, narrowly avoiding the dart before darting away to join his siblings. "ANIMAL CRUELTY! SSSSSOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!"

"Don't be such a drama queen, Kol! THEY ARE THE POLICE!" Rebekah shouted from faraway.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a shopping cart (or chariot) was being pulled by Klaus, with thick rubber bands as reins, knocking down a few personnel, as Elijah tried to save his siblings. As the shopping cart moved in full speed, Elijah slapped the humans with the fish.

"Brother, I am trying to keep my balance here!" Elijah struggled, moving from one foot to another, slapping the humans, desperately trying to keep his balance on the edge of the cart.

It was inevitable. Klaus was in fact, having so much fun, that he collided with a bunch of shelves. Screams from women and cries from children were heard. The only good thing that came out of it was that when they knocked down the shelves, they saw Kol and Rebekah on the other side.

"Greetings, brothers!" Rebekah greeted sheepishly, waving.

"Well, well, well, aren't those our animal criminals? Tranquilize them!" A burly man ordered, pointing at them.

A volley of darts were fired and escape was impossible. All of the siblings had at least had eight darts in them, and were slowly falling asleep.

"Thissss issss the end, sssssiblingssss. We will be put down!" Kol teared up.

"We can't be kept as pets, so hopefully we can get to a zoo or something, make an escape again." Klaus murmured, the effects of the tranquilizer hitting him.

THREE HOURS LATER

The sounds of fanfare hit Klaus' ears first, but when he tried to get up, he realized he couldn't. I am in a goddamn crate. How degrading! Klaus thought, but peeking outside the hole for ventilation, he saw crowds of people, some with balloons, and laughter of children everywhere.

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. We are gathered here today as we have a few... special guests joining our zoo today!" the spokesperson blared in a too-happy voice.

"Wakey, wakey! You have lots of people to meet!" a caretaker greeted, opening the crate.

Klaus glared at the caretaker, before lifting himself up from the crate, stretching himself. When he stood up, he could clearly see his siblings there, standing up and waiting for him.

"Nik!" Rebekah went forward to hug him, or at least try.

Kol was curled up putting his head on the ground and Elijah was putting a flipper on his face.

"Would someone stop the fanfare? It's giving me a headache." Elijah complained.

"You're jusssst mad 'caussssse your fisssssh is gone." Kol aggravated, sneering at Elijah.

"That's also a major contribution to the terrible mood I'm having."

The caretakers read the clip board to rearrange the animals, whistling at Rebekah to get in line, for she was the last one.

"Hey! Animals are people too, you know! You don't just whistle at girls and expect to get them!" Rebekah scolded, getting in line and staring at the man.

"On the contrary sister, all they have to do is look at you, and then... BOOM! You're in a relationship!" Klaus joked with glinting eyes.

Elijah glared at him with burning eyes, commanding him to stop, but the door suddenly opened. All the five caretakers carried Kol out into the sun. Elijah who was next, tried to hide his eyes from the sunlight.

"It's pretty much like a hangover, Elijah! You probably never had one," Rebekah explained, shielding her eyes.

Kol initially hated the sunlight for it burned his eyes, but when he saw people all around the amphitheater celebrating him, he slithered out of the caretaker's hands and started lifting himself in the air, swaying to the music.

"Pleasssse! Clap for me! Cheer for me! Celebrate your wondroussss and fair King Kol!" the snake sang, swaying to the upbeat music.

Elijah scoffed and coughed when he heard the words 'wondrous and fair'. His youngest brother was hardly wondrous in any way, adjusting his new red tie.

"Well. He's making a complete fool of himself. Once again." Klaus muttered, hearing the Kol's voice reverberating behind the closed doors.

Meanwhile, Kol was enjoying his time in the limelight, accepting all of the compliments that people gave him.

"That is one looooong snake."

"He's longer than the floor of my room, mommy!"

'What a rare oddity. This is such a trip..." a guy who looked like a professor mumbled.

Kol, although drunk from the attention he was having, was not oblivious to the professor looking at him funny. _That guy looks familiar. Better tell Elijah. He'll_ _know what to do_. Kol thought, uncomfortable at someone looking at him like a piece of meat.

Meanwhile, a different, more triumphant fanfare sounded, and Elijah appeared, ready with a new tie for the occasion.

"Let us welcome our new guest, a penguin. Oops! I mean- Emperor penguin," the spokesperson introduced.

Wait, what?! Kol thought, staring at Elijah, waving and smiling at the audience, sometimes bowing and clapping. _Smile and wave, Elijah. Bow. Clap a little. Smile and wave. These are like dance steps, dammit! _Elijah thought, performing the actions perfectly though rather mechanically.

"Emperor is a higher position than a King, Punjab Kol Mikaleson," Elijah smugly said, waving and clapping.

The snake turned around, glaring at his brother and hissing like a murderer.

That was when the real havoc began. Some children were so inclined to hug Elijah they broke through their parents' grasps and started hugging. _Sigh. Hug_ _back, Elijah. Hug back. Never hit a child, Elijah. Never hit a child. _Elijah thought, hugging back the children that collided with his giant stomach.

"Daddy, he's squishy!"

"He gives great hugs!"

"He's like one giant, soft and cosy pillow!"

"Yessss he issss! He issssss oooone BIG pillow. Pleassssse! I, Punjab Mikalesssson allow you to hug him. In fact, hug him till he breakssssss!" Kol added spitefully, motioning his tail to Elijah.

"Our next guest, is a wolf, apparently. Send him out!"

Klaus, hulking black wolf, was sent out, and the kids hugging Elijah were running away for their lives. He let out a huge howl, and the amphitheater fell into an awkward silence, trotting to his place next to his brothers.

"I refuse to be some show animal. Instill fear in people. That's what I do." Klaus spoke, sitting down.

The brothers looked expectantly at the closed door, waiting for there sister to join them. The spokesperson introduced her, as well as some false facts, before she appeared, bouncing to her brothers, not bothering to greet the audience.

"Rebekah! Ssssso rude!" Kol chided, eyes glinting.

"Says the one that has been rude all the time." Elijah answered, rolling his eyes.

"Well, the rude one got a piece of information. Remember that nut case professor that attempted to _raise_ Silas? He's back! I think he has something to do with this!" Kol whispered.

"Atticus Shane? I thought he was dead." Rebekah answered, looking though the audience.

"You _thought_ he wasssss? Don't you watch horror moviessss? They're NEVER dead the firsssssst time!" Kol retorted, using his tail and pointing accusingly at Rebekah.

"Or any time, really." Klaus added, eyes darting at the audience, searching for the shady professor.

The caretakers came and got them, putting them back in crates to place them in their habitats.

"We'll find a way. Until next time, siblings." Elijah concluded, as he walked back into the crate.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys! I must admit, this chapter has been pretty tough to conjure up. I actually had to wrote 4 plot lines to see how it went! So I thought instead of being kept in a habitat, I would go for a plot twist. Thanks to all those that read and reviewed! Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter Five: We Meet Again, Atticus Shane (Part 1)

However, when all the Mikaelson Family were packed up in the crates, they heard sounds of struggle. The thuds of punches, grunts of pain and ominous footsteps were heard and they desperately tried to find out what was happening through the ventilation holes.

"Such interesting specimens..." a voice almost in a trance mused.

Kol froze in his box, knowing what was going to happen next. These boxes were pretty tough, and even Klaus wouldn't even be able to break out in time.

"HE ISSS MAD! He'sssss a basssssket casssse!" Kol screamed, panicking.

"He is so insane, he should be considered a gone case. That is the dreadful truth," Elijah answered. He was frustrated, because his box was tilted horizontally, and he couldn't see a damn thing.

"Passionate, my ass. He is just creepy," Klaus dismissed, pushing his ear near the ventilation hole to hear more.

"Bring them to my lab. I would like to... Study these intriguing specimens. Oh, what joy!" Professor Shane exclaimed excitedly.

The siblings shuddered at the sound of the crazy professor's voice and the thought of being experimented on. Going into his study in Mystic Falls was bad enough, and now they were going to his lab of sorts.

"This has got to be the absolute worst day of my entire life. The luck we are having is unbelievable!" Elijah exclaimed, as he felt his crate being lifted away.

Professor Shane rubbed his hands, as if itching to open the crates, but was restraining himself. His teeth were chattering in excitement, though he was not cold. These sounds of excitement sickened the siblings.

"Ah, my babies. I can't wait to crack those terrible crates open."

"This crate is less terrible than yourself, my dear Jerkyll," Klaus retorted back.

"I would rather be Damon Ssssalvatore'ssss sssson than yoursssss, my dear nutcasssse," Kol spat, disgusted at the reference.

"Though Mikael was bad, you are absolutely HORRIBLE." Rebekah let out, feeling her crate being lifted into a truck.

"You are a sick man, my dear sir, a sick man!" Elijah spat, feeling the rumbling of the trick as it moved away.

AN HOUR LATER

After a horrible, bumpy ride in the truck, the Mikaelson siblings were finally set down in some stable surface that wasn't sick-inducing. Professor Shane was bouncing on the seat of the truck the entire time, running his hands over crates. That made the siblings very uncomfortable, hearing a hand, or more sickening, the mad professors hand so close to their own skins.

"If he hassss the audacity to touch a sssssingle ssssscale of me, I will persssssonally ssssue him for rape," Kol declared, hearing the nutcase professor taking a crowbar.

"Well, that will be inevitable. Might as well get this over with," Elijah surrendered, hearing his box being pried open.

The professor smiled when he had successfully pried open Elijah's only sense of security, the crate door. Shane reached out, and then carried Elijah to the table, doing all sorts of measurements. This made Elijah quite uncomfortable.

"Would- DO you mind? Take that measuring tape of my stomach!" Elijah complained, as the tiny measuring tape Shane used was too tight for him.

"That's not exactly a stomach, Elijah. Just a big bumbling bowl of fats and mess." Klaus chuckled, tapping his crate.

Professor Shane was baffled, and took a different tape, measuring the 'circumference' of the penguin's waist. Shuffles of footsteps were heard.

"52 inches. A bit big for a penguin, don't you think?" Shane commented, taking down his findings.

"See Elijah, even the nutcase professor agrees." Klaus chuckled.

"Elijah'ssss waissssst is 52 inchessss? SSSSOMEBODY CALL THE CNN!" Kol sang, earning a glare from the penguin.

"Now I really do appreciate patient confidentiality..." Elijah mumbled, running his flippers over his tummy, hearing a sickening squelch.

"I vote Elijah to be the new mascot for McDonalds! Can I get an amen? Better for the business and the creepy ass clown anyways!" Klaus joked.

"Amen." Rebekah and Kol agreed.

Sighs were heard outside their crates, and the siblings didn't say any thing else. Professor Shane carefully placed Elijah on the weighing scale, and recording his weight. Interesting... Professor Shane thought.

"100 pounds for a penguin... Now that's weird..." Shane mused, scratching his head.

"100 POUNDS?!" Rebekah spat, kicking her box.

"The new McDonald'sss McPenguin Fillet Burger-" Kol started in a promotional voice. (The one they use in advertisements)

"Shut up."

"Ugh, that's disgusting, Elijah! Absolutely terrible! Boooo!" Klaus jeered, playing along.

"Are you kidding me?! The McPenguin Fillet Burger tastesss PHENOMENAL! 100 percent Atlantic ssssalmon, or sssso they ssssay- " Kol shouted.

"Will you all please stop?!" Elijah scolded, after being placed on a sofa by the Professor when he had conducted all his investigations on the penguin himself.

There was silence afterwards, for Elijah's voice reverberated through the room. Kol was up next. He was getting increasingly agitated and excited- to smack the Professor right in the face. When Kol finally saw the face of the madman, he glared at him with fiery eyes. Even the nutcase could feel it.

"Woah... Are you angry? I'm sorry I put you in a box for so long, but-"

SMACK! Kol smacked his tail across Shane's face, huffing and puffing in anger. How much he hated this man- for raising Silas, for causing disorder in the family, and most recently, keeping him for experiments. Shane put his hand on the place Kol had smacked him at, and smiled like some patient from the asylum.

"What a wonderful, intriguing and phenomenal creature..." Shane made out, feeling the burn in his face.

Kol stared at him with disbelief, shocked that this man was so full of crazy that he didn't even know when an animal was angry.

"I am, gobssssmacked." Kol blurted out, eyes wide.

"When Kol uses that term, he's got to be really shocked. I'm surprised myself." Rebekah answered, hearing the drama that was taking place outside.

Professor Shane quickly took out the measuring tape again, weighing the snake, though it was close to impossible, for snakes were very heavy. An average professor couldn't do that. So, he took up a claw-like object, joined with a bamboo stick to lift Kol onto the weighing scale,

"It'sssss not very comfortable, but at leasssst you have a decency to not usssse your handsssss, you dirty pig," sulked Kol, as he felt the aluminum claws clasp at his body.

The scale clocked at 450 pounds, and Professor Shane eagerly took down the data. Scratching of a pencil was heard.

"An astonishing 450 pounds... How astonishing..." Shane muttered, scratching his head.

"450 POUNDSSSS! You are lying, dear professor. I DEMAND A RECOUNT-" Kol defended, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"This is not the election, Kol!" Rebekah shouted.

"Who's the fat one now? Hmm?" Elijah sneered, pointing to the scale.

"At leasssst I look beautiful. You look like you just sssswallowed a helium balloon and Father'ssss ballsss-"

"Shut up, all of you!" Rebekah shouted, trying to stop a fight from breaking out.

However, the siblings did not stop, ignoring Rebekah for the entire way through.

"I bet they taste good, don't they?! Good, 'cause that's the last thing you'll ever eat with that diseased stomach of yours-" Kol continued mercilessly.

"SILENCE!" Klaus commanded, unable to bear the fight anymore. "Stop acting like children, especially you, Kol! Elijah, Rebekah, you should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Sorry." all three of them answered at the same time.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

**Done! What do you think? Send suggestions 'cause it keeps the creative juices flowing! Secret: I am going off my rocker with school almost restarting, having a flu and waiting for TVD and TO's hiatus to end. But then again, aren't we all? :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi guys! Due to some problems with a software named Microsoft Word, I have been a few hours late. (And it's awkward 'cos it's a two-part chapter.) Sorry about that! Thanks to all those that read and reviewed! :D**

* * *

There was silence afterwards, for Klaus had given them time to reflect on themselves. Elijah sat alone on the sofa, rubbing and slapping his stomach in a trance. Kol couldn't be bothered to listen anymore, and fell asleep.

Next up, was Rebekah, whose crate doors were pried open. She narrowed her eyes at the Professor, distrusting him completely. She tensed her legs, ready to kick him off if he ever hurt her in any way.

"Don't be so tense, little sister. He's just going to measure you. You can ask Elijah, you know. Though he's gone insane," Klaus chuckled, listening to Rebekah's short breaths of anger.

"Well I'm glad that you even care, brother!" Rebekah retorted, hopping towards Shane and his measuring tape. She suddenly froze.

"What's going on? Why did you suddenly stop?" Shane asked, puzzled that Rebekah had stopped hopping.

"Hey boy. You come here often?" Kol sneered, finding it weird that Shane had mistaken him for his measuring tape.

Shane got a terrible fright, dropping the snake. Kol hissed in pain as he felt his head hit the floor, glaring at Shane. Klaus chuckled, hearing the exchange.

"Acting as strings... You, sir, are a intriguing creature. I wonder why you have this adaptation?" Shane mused, staring at Kol as he measured Rebekah.

"All the more to sssstrangle you with, dear," Kol croaked, like an old grandma.

"Would you please stop doing that? It scares me beyond belief for some inexplicable reason." Rebekah whined, annoyed, twitching her legs.

Shane measured Rebekah at about 5 feet 9 inches, making her the tallest of the group. She held her face up high in achievement.

"Careful, sister. If you hold your face that high, it might get stuck forever..." Klaus sang, chuckling darkly afterwards.

Those words were enough to scare Rebekah into putting her head back into where it was. The thought of raising her head up high fir ever was downright creepy.

"I'm... So hungry." Elijah muttered, slapping his tummy, slightly dazed.

Considering that he didn't even eat the fish from the supermarket two days a ago, it was obvious he was hungry. Kol ate a few Pop-Tarts on the way to the cashier and Klaus stole away at some sirloin steaks.

Just then a female figure walked down the stairs, wearing a sweater and faded blue jeans. She had brown hair with intelligent green eyes. The Mikalesons was unfamiliar with her.

"Hey girl. Wanna hang out?" Kol asked, eyes glinting, slithering to her.

"You know Kol, it's never fun seeing you hit in girls." Rebekah whined, glaring at her brother.

"I don't really have energy to make a comment," Elijah struggled out, slumped over the edge of the sofa.

Professor Shane blushed, hugging and kissing her. All if the Mikaelsons cringed at the sound if the kissing. Rebekah made a vomiting sound, and Elijah just freaked out upon the sofa, kicking his legs wildly.

"May I put my head in your pouch, ssssisssster? Ear muffsss are a little sssscarce at the moment," Kol begged, putting layers of his tail next to his head.

"Can I too? The sound of it just makes me want to vomit," Klaus asked.

"NO YOU MAY NOT! What kind of question is that?!" Rebekah scolded, eyes glaring and steam coming out of her nostrils.

"Woah, baby. Don't throw the cowboy off the rodeo," Kol chuckled, seeing the steam.

"I am not your baby!"

"I don't want you as my baby! You are too ugly to be my child!" Kol retorted.

"I bet my firstborn child that you will always be Mikael's baby, Kol," Klaus joined in, chuckling.

"Your firstborn child is not a betting chip, Niklaus!" Elijah scolded, suddenly sitting up.

"Don't be all defenssssive not the baby, Elijah. Jeez. Chill," Kol soothed, rubbing Elijah's shoulders.  
"Is it the Hayley drama again?" Rebekah sighed, lying down.

Klaus chuckled at Elijah darkly, knowing his older brother's infatuation with the wolf girl, not that any of his family approved anyway. Elijah's feathers were all puffed up, for he was extremely angry. He actually looked much bigger. This did not pass Professor Shane's eye.

"How interesting. The penguin's feathers are all puffed up!" Shane squealed, freeing himself from the embrace of the mystery girl.

Shane came closer and touched Elijah's puffed up feathers, before carrying him, like a baby. The oldest brother was flabbergasted.

"Wha- wha- What are you doing?! Can't you see I'm in the middle of reprimanding someone?!" Elijah stuttered angrily, squirming at the hands of the professor.

"He's so cute! Look at how puffed up he is!" the girl cooed, tickling the penguin's stomach.

"I highly recommend you stop this immediately- Ha ha! HAHAHAHAHA!"

To the siblings, Elijah was speaking perfect English, but to the humans, it was just a happy, long mix of chirping and purring. He desperately tried to avoid the tickles on his stomach, but it was impossible. Shane was ecstatic to see that his girlfriend was so happy with the new animals.

"I love him, Shane! Can I bring him upstairs? He looks hungry, " the girl asked, carrying the huge penguin.

"Of course you can, dear. But remember to bring him back," Shane warned, before taking the crowbar and freeing Klaus from his crate.

"Wait, WHAT?! Elijah getssss free food and getssss carried off by a girl jussssst by looking angry? UNFAIR! Call the lawyer, Nik! I ssssenssse a casssse of unfairnessss!" Kol hissed, staring at Klaus as he got out of the crate.

"Well, I sense a case of jealousy. And boy, does it hiss bad," Rebekah retorted.

"Sorry, Kol. Sometimes, life don't play fair. Especially if you're a snake," Klaus objected, stretching.

Kol hissed in frustration, before setting himself on the sofa of the lab. Rebekah hopped towards the sofa and sat next to her brother, trying to comfort him, stroking his scales.

"Well, look at the bright side, Kol. At least you don't have to go to court," Rebekah sneered, suddenly slapping the scales forcefully.

"Hey! Don't slap my skin! Endangered species, you know!" Kol complained, edging further away from his sister.

* * *

**Christmas is coming! TRUE FACT: I have never tasted eggnog in my life, nor have I ever eaten a gingerbread man, because I never really seen it in the supermarkets. On a side note: Finally TVD and TO are starting in a few weeks time. I pride myself for surviving this long. You should too! Also, I would post one more Christmas-themed chapter before taking a break and restarting next year! Have a great day! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Its probably Christmas Eve for everyone on the other side of the world, so Merry Christmas in advance! Also, I accidentally deleted the third chapter while uploading the previous chapter, so well, I had to delete everything from the fourth chapter onwards and repost them. Anyways, enough rambling, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 8: How The Mikaelson Brothers Stole Christmas

After staying a few days at Shane's lab (or basement) without hope of rescue, Christmas was here. Not that any of the Mikaelsons even wanted to celebrate, even if they were back to their original form. Elijah, Rebekah and Klaus were sleeping soundly on the sofa with blankets before an obnoxious sound rang out.

The screams of the air horn jolted Rebekah so much she bounced and hit the ceiling, bits of plaster raining down on her. Klaus was terrified, and quickly jolted into an alert form. Elijah however, grunted in protest and took Rebekah's pillows and blankets to shield away the sound.

"WAKE UP IDIOTSSS! IT'SSS CHRISSTMASSS!" Kol shouted into the loudspeaker he was holding.

"Kol, I'm sure there's a less obnoxious way to wake us up," Klaus scolded, wiping his face with his paw.

"But I wassss never one to take the lesssss obnoxiousss way, no?"

Kol then sat himself in front of his siblings, staring at them with wide eyes expectantly, as if waiting for them to do something. There was intense staring amongst the three siblings for a few minutes, before Rebekah was exasperated.

"Ok, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT! Stop eyeing us like that!" Rebekah snapped, tried to shoo him away.

Kol looked at them like they didn't know the simplest answer in the world, staring at them with the 'duh' expression, pointing to the calendar on the wall. Klaus just shook his head, mumbling curse words.

"Itsss Chrissstmass. There'ssss gotta be pressssentss right?" Kol tried, battering his eyelashes.

"Do we look like we have presents? Oh wait, you want a present? How about a kick in the face?' Rebekah taunted, balancing on her tail and aiming her legs at the snake's head.

"You woke us up just for this? For the first time ever, I feel like Elijah's the mightiest genius in the world for not waking up," Klaus shouted, glaring at his younger brother.

Kol was shocked by the lack of Christmas spirit, mouth wide in amazement. he suddenly became outraged.

"FINE! I CAN CELEBRATE HANUKKAH TOO!" Kol screamed, before slithering away in frustration.

The wolf scoffed, before snatching away his pillow and blanket, making himself comfortable on the sofa, turning away from his sister and trying to sleep. Klaus, seeing that Elijah had taken Rebekah's pillow to act as a earmuff, sat on the other side of the sofa, staring at his penguin brother, swaddled up in blankets and sound asleep. He smiled sadly, reminiscing the last time they had spent Christmas as a family.

**CHRISTMS EVE, NEW YORK, 2002**

It was a quiet day in the Mikaelson Estate in New York. The siblings didn't feel like they were in celebratory mood, and so they didn't bother putting up decorations, nor did they bother with eggnog and candy canes, or spending a nice dinner together. So, afraid that her family would go hungry, Rebekah decided to order Chinese takeout.

"Kol, when the delivery girl comes, remember to give her this fifty and take the takeout. Also, avoid trying to hit on her, or eat her, you understand?" Rebekah instructed, waving the fifty in her hands.

Kol shook his head, grinning, joining Klaus who was flipping the TV channels to look for something interesting to watch. Elijah sighed, seating next to his brothers and staring blankly at the TV. Rebekah rolled her eyes and went up her room, perhaps reading her gossip magazines again.

Fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang and Kol went to answer it looking expectantly at the delivery girl who was holding out a set of Chinese takeouts.

"Hi! Takeout delivery! That would be 25 dollars! Thank you!" the girl said, receiving the fifty, giving the set of Chinese takeouts and walking away.

"Hey! What are you doing with my other 25 dollars?" Kol demanded, waving his hands.

"Sorry, sir. I thought it was a tip." the girl apologised sheepishly, giving him the change.

Elijah and Klaus stared at her like she had made an unforgivable mistake. Elijah sunk his head to a pillow, saying prayers, and Klaus just stared at her blankly.

"Kol giving a tip? Someone call BBC!" Elijah mumbled, raising his head from the pillow.

The girl just gave an awkward smile, before trying to run off, not wanting to see this family ever again (I don't blame her).

"Hey! Don't you want your tip?" Kol asked, with a devious glint in his eyes, despite trying to give an overall innocent smile.

Elijah and Klaus hugged each other, staring at the interaction, anticipating her demise, like a horror movie. _This is it. Her eternal demise._ Klaus thought, gripping his older brother's shoulders tightly. The girl looked exasperatedly at the second youngest Mikaelson.

"Get a real job," Kol mouthed, before giving a evil smile, and slamming the door forcefully.

Kol laughed like a maniac before dropping the set on the dining table like he didn't care. Klaus' grip loosened, before going forward to get a box of takeout. Elijah looked disapprovingly at his youngest brother, shaking his head and folding his arms.

"I do not approve of the actions that you did just now. They were downright humiliating." Elijah scolded, slapping his brother's head.

"Since when did you even approve _anything_, brother? And doesn't everything I do involve something humiliating? HAHAHA!" Kol sneered, taking his box of takeout.

Elijah shook his head with disapproval, before joining Kol and Klaus in their effort to find something watchable.

At last, they came to the last channel, which showed a children's holiday classic, _How The Grinch Stole Christmas_. Klaus eyed Elijah, who was holding the remote, and staring intently at the screen. Kol gave a suspicious look at his older brother, who seemed to be interested with the show.

"This show is more interesting than I even care to admit." Elijah stated, staring at the screen with newfound focus.

"You gotta be kidding me, Elijah. I'm not going to watch this stalk of talking hay speak for an hour and half about his near-impossible wish." Klaus scoffed, looking at the screen.

"It IS a stalk of talking hay! For the first time, Nik, you're not totally insane!" Kol observed, staring at the screen.

_They're hanging their stockings..._

Klaus looked at the Grinch (or talking stalk of hay) with disdain, at the lack of preparation he had for his plan. In Klaus' eyes, he was practically a lousy villain, critiqued by the ungodly Klaus Mikaelson! He should be honoured!

_I must stop Christmas from coming! _

_But how? _

_Then the he got an idea. _

_The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea. _

"The amount of poetry in this movie can rival Elijah's personal debates with himself,' Klaus said, impressed, looking at the Grinch. The three brothers stared at the TV screen with newfound interest. Then, the Grinch on TV gave a Kol like grin, which the respective brother appreciated very much. He smiled and finally approved this movie.

"His evil grin is worthy of applause. I say an 8," Kol judged, staring at the TV screen.

Klaus then bounced up from his seat, with a brilliant idea in his head. He hooted with joy, hands up high.

"I have a brilliant idea! How about we steal Christmas! Make everyone's day worse, and have the best Christmas ever tomorrow? You know, because I haven't done any dastardly deeds in a long time now," Klaus hooted, staring at his siblings.

"Well, do we give the present's back?' Elijah asked, as this conflicted with his moral values.

"We'll pay them in cash," Klaus suggested, running to get the Santa costumes.

"Well, there better be some gold, 'cause I'm all in!" Kol blared excitedly.

**30 MINUTES LATER... **

The Mikaelson Brothers were ready, donning their Santa costumes, potato sacks slung on their backs. Thought the brothers didn't approve of the colour red for such an occasion, they were ready to go on a robbing spree, and to make Elijah more secure about this, they made him in charge of the money.

"Damn! This Santa guy's really barrel sized. I feel like the costume's too loose, even if I had the belt at the first hole,' Kol complained, trying to get used to the suit.

"I have become Santa Klaus. Oh, the wonders it will do to my reputation," Klaus laughed, going out of the door.

First up, was the Morgan Household. Klaus never particularly liked them, for their son had looked much too similar to him, and he was selfish and narcissistic about his looks- he didn't want to share similarities to someone else.

"I never particularly liked this family, to be honest," Klaus admitted, as he broke the lock.

Elijah rolled his eyes, knowing the reason, and Kol scoffed, not believing the security of this house. However, nothing prepared them for the shock they were having.

The huge Christmas tree was on display, intertwined with shining Christmas LED lights, and boxes of all shapes and sizes underneath the tree. It was close to midnight, and everyone was asleep. or at least Kol compelled them to. Klaus grinned evily, taking all of the boxes (and some candy canes from the tree), stuffing it in the sack. Kol raided the fridge, placing cakes and all sorts of tidbits inside.

"_Goin' round your neighbourhood, stealin' all your stuff_..." Klaus sang silently.

"_I'm gonna make it rain with your silly Christmas cards, and I'll unwrap all your gifts_..." Kol sang, stealing the turkey.

"OOH! Twinkies! Exquisite." Kol approved, stuffing everything in his sack. Elijah just sat down on the sofa, watching his brothers whirlwind the entire household till there was almost nothing left. Finally, his job came and he splashed a dozen thousand bills on the dining table.

And that was the routine, for every single house in the neighbourhood. Elijah felt more and more guilty as they robbed more houses for all it was worth.

**A FEW HOURS LATER... **

"The last house of the night, Elijah! You can go commit moral suicide after this!" Klaus laughed, setting down four bags worth of goodies. Elijah sighed, looking at the last dozen of notes in his pocket. _Why had I agreed to this?!_ Elijah regretted, staring dismally at the sacks of goodies. Kol and Klaus practically bounced in excitement as they broke the lock on the door, but was disappointed with what they saw.

There were no millions of gifts on the floor, no turkey, no nothing.

When the three brothers looked around, there was one small, lonely tree with a few lights. It was so small it could be considered a medium sized bonsai. The three brothers were affected by such a small Christmas tree.

"Oh my God! Three Santas in my house!" a tiny girl said, jumping out from the sofa.

The brothers widened their eyes in surprise, no expecting to get caught. Elijah gave both his brothers a warning look, telling them not to hurt her in any way.

"My sister said that you guys weren't coming this year. But I knew you would come!" the girl went on excitedly.

Klaus found this slightly disturbing, messing with children's minds like that. He knelt down and stared into her eyes, searching reason.

"Why? Why didn't you think we would come?" Klaus asked, searching the young girl's eyes.

"Well, my sister said that we were too poor for Santa to come, but she promised that he will come next year. My mom's gone somewhere else. And my dad's in jail, so..."

Elijah furrowed his eyebrows, observing his brother as he attempted to connect with the girl. Kol gave her a pitying look, staring at her intently. Then, the girl opened her locket, and there was a picture of her sister and her father. A realisation struck his mind! The Chinese takeout delivery girl was the girl in the locket! Kol felt incredibly guilty, hanging his head in shame. Elijah gave him a knowing look.

"I understand. I understand the feeling of not having a... proper father taking care of you," Klaus empathised, patting the girl's head, and giving a sad smile.

Kol gave him a knowing look, grabbing his brother's shoulders, telling him that they should go.

Klaus nodded, understanding and stood up, facing the young girl.

"Well, we have to go. You know, we have Santa things to do. Reindeer to feed, milk to drink, taking care of Ms. Claus. So, we have to go," Kol explained, walking out of the door, accompanied with his brothers.

When the three brothers placed the sacks of presents and food on their table, they looked dismally guilty. Elijah gave them a knowing look before going upstairs to got to sleep.

"The guilty gene is getting a hold of me. What's your affliction?" Kol admitted, unpacking the sacks.

"Kindred spirit syndrome. What's the cure, doc?" Klaus asked, staring at their bounty.

"You know what? Let's do this girl a little justice. Get her dad out and give all these presents to her," Kol suggested, packing back the gifts.

Klaus sped to the local jail, searching for the girl's dad and Kol heaved all of the presents, and stole some guy's Christmas tree. He meticulously arranged everything so it looked perfect. Klaus had a hard time bypassing the prison security, but nonetheless got her father out, telling him to keep quiet.

_A little touch to the Christmas tree... one present here. And done! _Kol thought, dusting his hands.

**THE NEXT MORNING... **

The girl woke up in her sister's bed, unaware that 'Santa' had put her there. She widens her eyes, slowly realizing that it is Christmas, she quickly waked up her sister.

"HURRY UP! ITS CHRISTMAS!" the girl shouted, pulling her sister's hand.

The older sister followed her, and was shocked by the sight she saw in the living room. Presents everywhere, as well as a really big Christmas tree, complete with ribbons and LED lights.

"Your presentation was artistically horrible, Kol..." Klaus argued, slapping his brother's head.

But when they saw the two sisters, they stopped arguing and stood dignified and straight.

"You... You did all this?!" the older sister asked, taking in the sights.

"WE. We did all of this. And, we have a special guest!" Klaus shouted, opening the door with a grand gesture.

The girls immediately stopped taking the sights and rushed to their father. Klaus watched happily, and Kol was sniffing in a handkerchief.

"Its... Its TOO much!" Kol complained, sniffing and sobbing even more.

"Thank you. Thank you for making this the most wonderful Christmas ever!" the older sister thanked.

Further away, in the Mikaelson Estate, Elijah sat on his armchair, hearing everything. He smiled, seeing the redemption in both of them. Elijah started musing to himself...

_It was not about the candy canes,_

_Nor was it about the egg nog, _

_However, Klaus and Kol found a gift _

_That could not be bought in a store. _

_They have found the spirit of family,_

_And that meant so much more. _

* * *

**I really hope you guys like this Christmas special. Feel free to drop in a review or a suggestion! :D Merry Christmas to you, reader. I hope you get everything you wish for, and God bless us all. Good day!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey there! I'm finally back after a short break. So, as promised, here's the next chapter of this story. Enjoy! :DDDDD**

* * *

Chapter Nine: Snakeskin

The siblings came out of their slumber a few days after Christmas. They scratched their heads, mumbling greetings to each other. Elijah saw all hiss siblings except for one, and sat up alarmed.

"Where is Kol? He should have woken us up days ago!" Elijah said, jumping on the pillows.

Klaus and Rebekah were too busy getting up, and scoffed, not worried for their brother. Klaus yawned, and walked up to the fridge to get something to eat. He put his teeth in the handle and pulled and got a horrible shock.

There was no food there!

Only bits and crumbs of Pop Tarts were left. Klaus slammed the fridge door in frustration, resting his head on the floor.

"That would be Kol," Elijah grumbled, patting his stomach.

"Well, at least Kol had a great Hanukkah," Rebekah mentioned, hopping around, stretching her legs.

"I'm not too interested in the food, siblings? Where is he?" Elijah asked, looking around the room.

Suddenly, soft sobs were heard from Shane's room in the basement. Elijah placed the pillow on his chest, ensuring that he was protected. Rebekah followed suit, and Klaus tensed up, growling at the door. Elijah opened the door with a bang, and the figure in the shadow of the room shifted.

"Rebekah! Nik! Elijah! Go away! You can't ssssee me like this!" the voice shouted, shifting deeper into the darkness of the room.

Klaus looked down and saw boxes upon boxes of food, tutting disapprovingly. Rebekah squinted her eyes, trying to see her brother in the darkness. Elijah went forward, trying to see his brother's affliction.

"No! GO AWAY! I'm... Too ugly. Ugh. Thissss itchesss," Kol protested, recoiling deeper inside.

"You only realized this now? You're rather late, brother," Klaus sneered, pawing the darkness.

Rebekah laughed evilly before turning in the light of Shane's room. Kol cried in embarrassment, thrashing around, going on a tantrum. Elijah was desperately trying to dodge the tail moving about. Klaus stared blankly at his youngest brother.

"Oh! I have ssssome sssssort of... DISSSSEASSSSE! Look at me! My sssskin'ssss peeling. I'm- I'm UGLY! I was never ugly my entire life!" Kol sobbed, trying to wipe his tears away.

"Until now," Rebekah added, laughing.

"Well, Kol. You are experiencing something called 'molting'. It's when you get too big-" Elijah started.

"Elijah you sound like a teacher during sex ed," Klaus sniggered, rolling his eyes.

"I'm too fat! Oh!"

Rebekah laughed maniacally, gloating in delight as her brother writhed over his supposed imperfection. Kol Mikaelson was now nothing more than a sobbing mass with skin peeling off the edges. Klaus sighed, knowing that comforting people was not Elijah's high-point.

"And the bad thing is, snakes can't lose weight. Not that I heard of, anyways," Klaus aggravated, poking his brother with his nose. Kol burst even more into tears, afraid that he would be stuck in an overweight snake's body forever.

"I'm going to be like thisssss FOREVER!" Kol screamed, thrashing around.

"Well, now you regret. Look at the number of Pop-Tarts you ate! _Look_!" Klaus scolded, kicking the empty boxes around.

Kol stopped thrashing and crying, slowly raising his head up and glaring at the boxes of Pop-Tarts. Them. They were the cause of all this. How dare _they_! The snake narrowed his eyes, slithering murderously, grabbing one of the unopened boxes, tightening it vigorously. Elijah dropped his pillow, raising his flippers in surrender and walked out of the room.

"You didn't see me here," Elijah whispered darkly, gesturing his hands in a circle before disappearing into the door edge and closing the door.

Klaus smiled sheepishly before bursting out of the door, breaking the wood. Rebekah followed suit. Kol stared evilly at the Pop Tart boxes and slithered his tongue gleefully.

"You're in my domain now, bitch. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kol laughed, before trashing the boxes.

The poor boxes were shredded, ripped and destroyed, and the unopened ones were crushed till they looked like hourglasses. Kol repeatedly trashed the boxes till they were nothing but bits if paper left, but felt something come free of him.

The skin! It had come off and Kol had a new one. He let go of the Pop-Tarts, staring at his new body with sparkling eyes, swishing his tail around in amazement. The snake was so ecstatic he started breakdancing around, swirling in circles, occasionally lifting himself off the air.

"I have a new tailll. I have a new tailll!" Kol sung, while dancing.

The breakdancing made a lot of sound though. It disturbed the quiet atmosphere in the basement. Rebekah was humming to herself as she looked at the flowerpots inside, Elijah was sitting on an ottoman reading the newspaper, wearing Shane's glasses, and Klaus stared at him. Thud thud thud. I have a new taillll! Rebekah sighed in disappointment, hoping that her brother be ugly for just a week in his life. Klaus cringed at the annoying sound, covering his ears. Elijah didn't seem to hear anything, flipping the pages.

Despite the lackluster attitude the three other siblings were having, Kol was behaving like he was at some fancy disco, breakdancing to no end, despite not having any music. Damn, I have skills! Kol thought, repeatedly thumping the floor heavily, not minding his weight.

Until now.

Kol was dancing so hard that he destroyed part of the floor, leading him to drop into some pit below. He coughed and spluttered, and through the layers of dust he could see a strange sciency place, filled with bottles and strange tools. In the middle there was a table, like to put bodies on, IVs and capsules with people inside. Looking left and right, he saw a few familiar faces. What is going on?! Kol thought, slithering through the lab. He saw a figure and gasped.

"Oh hell no!" Kol screamed.

Meanwhile in the basement, the other three siblings heard the crash, zipping into the room, seeing a gaping hole notches wooden floor. Elijah waved his flippers around, trying to see through all the layers of dust obscuring his vision. Klaus squinted, staring at the hole. Rebekah was worried for her brother, calling out to him.

"Kol! Answer us! Are you alright?"

The layers of dust cleared and to their shock and horror, Kol had transformed into stone. Elijah blinked his eyes as if he could not believe what he saw, Klaus' jaw hung open and Rebekah started sobbing hard.

As more dust cleared, a familiar figure stared out to them, and she smirked evilly. Klaus recognized her as Shane's supposed girlfriend, but Elijah squinted at her skin. It seemed like makeup for it was too stretched and young-ish.

The girl scratched off the makeup, and...

It was Davina. The remaining three widened their eyes, and started trembling, whispering prayers.

"Hello, party animals," Davina greeted giving them a mock curtsy.

"Oh no." Elijah said, staring at her.

* * *

**So, I would just like to say thank you to all those that read and reviewed, and I wish you a good year ahead. **

**ANNOUNCEMENT: I wouldn't be able to post as frequently as I use to, as school is starting. Sorry! **

**HAVE A GREAT DAY! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Welcome back, people! I come bearing gifts... And its this chapter! A big thank you to all that have reviewed or read this story, as it means the world to me. Thanks for sticking with me though this crazy story, I really appreciate it. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter Ten: Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead

The remaining three siblings stared at Davina in shock and terror, for they knew their game was up. Davina had been onto their trail the entire time. The sudden realization pierced them, and they stood there trembling and shaking. The witch smirked, glaring at the siblings, lifting herself up to the sibling's level.

"The game is up, Mikaelsons. Time to be annihilated. Who wants to go first?" Davina laughed, raising her hands.

Rebekah swallowed uncomfortably, Klaus growled angrily, knowing that he had been beaten, and Elijah let out a pathetic _arp_ in defeat, hanging his head. Klaus nudged Elijah forward, cowering behind him. Because of the sudden movement, Elijah was caught unaware and shifted too close to Davina. His gigantic stomach nudged the witch back into the hole.

Davina screamed as she hit the ground below, cracking a few ribs. Kol eyes moved and stared at her, for it was one of the few body parts that could move. Suck it, witch! Kol thought, trying to move a little closer to Davina, to get a better view.

"What do you suggest, Niklaus?" Elijah asked, staring at the hole on the floor, patting his stomach.

Davina slowly got up, climbing out of the hole, clawing the ground. She wasn't going to give up.

"Well, brothers. I suggest we... RUN!" Rebekah screamed, stepping back, away from Davina's hands.

The Mikaelsons (or what have remained) crashed through the already battered door, running towards the basement door that led to the first floor. Elijah jumped, rattling the doorknob furiously, but it wouldn't open. Klaus cursed as he saw a shadow wander closer and closer to them.

Outside the door, Shane was fresh and happy, taking off his too warm bathrobes and sipping coffee as he watched the television. Hearing the rattling, he decided to check on it.

However, on the unfortunate moment, Shane decided to open the door. The siblings trampled on him, desperate to get out. Davina suddenly popped out of the wall, eyes furious, but they suddenly changed to terror. Klaus had pushed Shane's trampled body down the stairs, twiddling his paw's fingers in goodbye.

"Farewell, little witch," Klaus whispered darkly, as he pushed.

"I see you- GAH!" Davina screamed, as the professor's rolling body collided with her down the stairs.

The professor was knocked out upon collision, but Davina was nowhere near KO status yet. She staggered up the stairs, landing a heavy foot on each step. She opened the door with a bang, hot steam coming out of her ears and nose. She scrutinized the room, looking for any sign for those problematic three.

_Ah ha! There he is!_ Davina thought, catching sight of the bit of moving cloth on the sofa. She dashed and went in front of the sofa, glaring at the penguin in bathrobes, holding the mug of steaming coffee.

"Got you, you flightless, useless bird!" Davina hooted in victory, holding up Elijah like a baby.

Elijah's eyes narrowed at the comment, not appreciating being called a 'flightless, useless bird'. He sunk his stomach down, forcing Davina to drop him. He landed on the sofa, flipping the cup and splashing the hot coffee in her face.

"Ahhhhhh! STUPID BIRD!" Davina screamed, as she desperately tried to get rid of the coffee on her face.

Elijah clapped his flippers happily, before waddling out of the room in his new bathrobes, picking up his abandoned newspapers on the floor. Davina glared at he waddling penguin, wanting to cast a spell on him, but her face hurt too much. She banged the floor with her fist in frustration, standing up and staggering towards Elijah's direction.

Meanwhile in the secret lab below the basement, Kol was trying to move towards the shelves of Shane's chemicals, hoping to find something to help him get out of his stone self. He could move only some parts of the body, as the encasing stone trapped quite a few body parts of his.

"They ssssay I have a body hard assss a rock, but I never quite imagined it thisssss way!" Kol complained, shifting inch by inch to the shelves.

He eventually lost his balance and landed on the floor, but to Kol's disappointment, it only managed to crack a small bit. The snake sighed, not impressed by the lack of progress.

"Damn. It hurtssss. This ssstone hassss to be made of Kryptonite." Kol hissed, trying to move towards the shelves.

"Kol! Hey! Over here!" Rebekah whispered, hiding at the edge of the doorframe. She had kicked the door leading to the secret lab open. The snake's eyes widened, darting to his sister. I will be saved! Kol thought, moving his eyes around in excitement.

"Quick, ssssister! Ssssave me! There hasssss to be a chemical ssssomewhere that disssssolvess thisss ssssarcophagussss of hell!" Kol answered, cocking his head to the shelf.

"We shouldn't destroy the sarcophagus. Your burial would be much cheaper," Rebekah sneered, hopping towards the shelves.

"How about we put my ashessss in your pouch? It costsssss nothing." Kol retorted, glaring at his sister.

"Do you want me to help you or not?!"

"Fine, fine..."

Rebekah scanned through the jars upon jars of chemicals, eventually finding a jar with acid in it. Kol stared at the jar in excitement, but upon reading the label, he was shaking and enraged.

"Do you honesssstly want to damage my newfound sssskin?! That'ssss pH 2, mind you!" Kol shouted, glaring at his sister.

"Oh please. Your skin's scaly and wrinkled. If it burns, it couldn't be much worse," Rebekah scoffed, breaking the bottle open, pouring the contents.

"Unbelievable!" Kol screamed as the acid rained down in him. The stone was dissolved, and Kol was free. The snake was writhing around in excitement, before being stopped by Rebekah. She glared at him, asking him to shut his trap and help her find the others.

At the same time, Klaus barricaded himself in Shane's room upstairs. He was panting, trying to thinking of a way to get out of this mess. Looking outside the window, he saw a familiar house in sight. It was extremely far away, almost unreachable, by foot, but it was worth it. The wolf worked out the plan, before hearing the door broken open by a blast of bright light.

"I failed at capturing the damn bird, but I will pulverize you!" Davina shouted, eyes white and holding her hands out.

"What is wrong with you, woman?!" Klaus screamed as he cowered to a corner of the room. _This is my end! The immortal hybrid will fall to this teenage witch!_ Klaus thought wistfully, closing his eyes and bracing himself.

"A little sssshort of faith there, eh?" Kol smiled, staring at him.

The witch turned around, astounded to find that the snake she petrified was alive and kicking. Before she could cast a spell to seal him (again) in his rocky doom, Kol lifted himself and wrapped around her body, trying to strangle her.

"Ahhhhhh! Get off me!" Davina shrieked. She staggered back and forth because of the weight of the snake, becoming dangerously close to the window. Klaus closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

"HA HAH! Who'sssss the petrified one now- AHHHHH! Kol shouted, as he and Davina plummeted down, crashing into the ground beneath them. Klaus quickly rushed to the window to see the wreck, mouth hung open.

"Brother, I heard a crash! What is going on?" Elijah called, appearing in the room.

"It's Kol. He tried to strangle Davina and landed on the ground outside the house." Klaus explained, dashing past his brother. Elijah followed closely, zipping down the stairs.

"Oh. Oh... What happened?" Kol stammered, struggling to unwrap himself, slithering back into the house.

The three siblings dashed out, finding the battered snake somewhere in the backyard. Klaus nudged the damaged snake, Rebekah looked down at him, trying to see any injuries and Elijah came out with a first aid box.

"I don't really know if a simple first aid box will do..." Elijah trailed off, standing behind Klaus and Rebekah.

Unaware that Davina was rising back up, Elijah turned his back in her, trying to get a glimpse of his brother. The witch got up, silently crawled and grabbed an abandoned spanner. She was prepared to bash the animals' brains out.

Davina stood behind Elijah, spanner raised up high. Elijah noticed the shadow in front of him, and turned to see who it was. The witch grinned perceptibly and swung the spanner. Elijah was bashed hard, and flew towards the walls of the house.

"Elijah had a little lamb," Elijah sung aloud, talking in gibberish, rubbing his head before staggering and swinging around like a drunk man.

Klaus heard the gibberish and pounced onto Davina, growling angrily. Davina grinned, and then disappeared.

"See you again soon, animals," Davina mouthed before disappearing.

Kol slowly got up, moving his body around, finally getting out of subconscious. He slithered around, trying to look for his siblings. He whipped the first aid box away, scoffing at the contents, following Rebekah to find Klaus.

"Well, Elijah is now... mentally challenged," Klaus sighed, cocking his head to the swaying penguin.

"Elijah had a little lamb, it's fleece was black as ash!" the penguin sung, dangerously out of control, clapping his hands too enthusiastically.

Kol's eyes popped out of their sockets, and his jaw open. Rebekah did the same too. They had never heard of such a thing in their long existence. Klaus gave a 'I know right." expression before walking towards the crazy penguin.

The penguin waved at them enthusiastically, screaming salutations. He hugged everyone one of them, squishing Kol a bit to hard in the process.

"So... Who are you?" Elijah asked, eyes sparkling.

"He's lost his damn mind," Rebekah sighed.

* * *

**UH OH! Elijah has amnesia! Now what are they going to do? Haha :D! So, what do you think? Leave a review or just PM me, because it really helps my work! Have a good day!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! I apologise if this chapter isn't as good, because well, I have received a bit of writer's block because of school. Anyways, here is the chapter.**

* * *

Chapter Eleven: Do You Honestly Have No Idea You Are?

"You mean you don't remember?" Klaus asked, incredulous.

The penguin stared at Klaus, before sticking his tongue out and shaking his head vigorously. Kol rolled his eyes surprised by the action.

"Remember what? There's nothing to remember!" Elijah blurted out, tongue still sticking out.

Klaus growled in annoyance at his brother's now mentally challenging state. Rebekah placed a paw on Klaus' shoulder, advising to let her try and step back.. The wolf sighed, backing off. She bent down to Elijah, staring at him with scrutinizing eyes, narrowing them.

"Do you remember is what your name?" Rebekah asked.

"Elena? Eleanor? Ernest? I forgot. I got it a few minutes ago, but now... IT IS GONE!" Elijah shouted, suddenly standing up waving his hands like a magician, staring at them with wide eyes.

"No, no. It'sssss not gone. Your name'ssss Eee-yoh." Kol laughed, eyes twinkling.

The penguin nodded in understanding, hitting his head harder to ensure he remembered that his name was 'Eee-yoh'. Kol looked at these actions with amused and astounded eyes, laughing away. Rebekah and Klaus glared at Kol's trickery. The wolf grumbling about how Kol was not 'helping his situation'.

"So, Eee-yoh, what do you propose to do now?" Rebekah asked, eyes still fixed on now amnesiac Elijah.

"I- I don't know. There isn't anything for miles. And there aren't any Hawaiian shirts. So it's a no go for me," Elijah sighed, taking off the bathrobe.

"Well, Hawaiian shirt or no Hawaiian shirt, we are going." Klaus said, getting up and marching to the gate of Shane's house.

The snake and kangaroo followed closely by, not wanting to be caught (again) by enemies that knew about their weakness. However, the penguin looked uneasy, looking around sideways, rubbing his flippers together, hopping on his feet.

"Eee-yoh! Oi! Follow us! Geez, you are as dumb as a horse!" Rebekah shouted, glaring at the anxious penguin.

"Hey! Horses are not dumb!" Klaus protested, and his sister scoffed at him, staring him down. Klaus whimpered, backing down and trying to open the gate.

"Well- well- I am anxious because-" Elijah stuttered.

"OUT WITH IT!" Kol hissed, eyes glaring at the penguin.

"Well, I am... I am actually afraid of dark stuff. It's weird for a penguin, I know, but then again, animals are afraid of other animals, right?" Elijah trembled, feathers shrunk up, making him look smaller.

Kol tutted disapprovingly like an old grandma, pushing up a spectacle-like object up his nose so he looked more stern. Elijah (now Eee-yoh) sighed deeply and hung his head in shame, patting at his stomach absently.

"Oh, sweetie. How could you let this happen to you?" Kol croaked, sounding like an old lady. Elijah stare at Kol with suspicious eyes, before being pushed forward to join them on their impossible trek to a 'familiar house" as Klaus had put it.

"Where are we going exactly?" Rebekah asked, narrowing her eyes and scrutinizing Klaus.

"From Shane's balcony I can see the Salvatore's Boarding House-" klaus started.

"WHAT?! We are going to ask help from Demon? Hell no." Kol protested, staying still.

Elijah shrunk at the mention of a demon, for he was afraid that the demon would eat him. He refused to move anymore, staying motionless with Kol. Klaus sniggered at their expression.

"Eee-yoh, Demon is actually Damon. His group of friends are... Troublesome and infuriating at times, but they are our only hope." Klaus admitted, scratching the ground.

"Do we really have to?" Elijah struggled out, hiding behind a tree stump. Klaus sighed. His brother had changed. He was now very cowardly and timid, very different from the leader-like Elijah he used to know and look up to. Rebekah nodded, seemingly understanding and noticing that too.

"Sssstop being ssssso timid! You will get courage eventually, but if you don't take the first sssstep, you will remain like thissss... Forever!" Kol scared, eyes twinkling with evil.

"AH! Don't- Don't scare me like that! I'll- I'll tell my mom!" Elijah threatened half-heartedly, timid that the forever part would happen.

"Your mom'ssss dead. Like a few yearsssss ago. Hehehehehe..." Kol continued, going closer, until his face touched the penguin's petrified face, licking it with the forked tongue.

"Don't scare him too much. We need to bring him along, Kol," Rebekah sighed, towing the frightened penguin with her.

Klaus backed up and pushed the wooden gate with his hind legs, breaking bits of it and crawling out to the other side. Rebekah ducked, towing the penguin with her, who complained about shrapnel in his flippers. Kol slithered over the wall, smugly smirking at that them. Klaus led the way, but eventually stopped after a few feet.

"What is it?" Rebekah asked, staring out.

"A swamp. It would be impossible to get through without sinking. I'm guessing Shane liked to be near weird sticky animals," Klaus concluded, sticking a paw in and evaluating the slush.

"Not to mention... CROCODILE!" Elijah screamed when he ducked, nearly missing the lunging snout by a hair.

The crocodile slithered out of the water, snapping its jaws, lunging at the siblings, piggy eyes glaring at its evasive prey. Elijah was trembling so much the ground below him shook, Klaus whimpered constantly and Rebekah hid behind her brothers. Kol narrowed his eyes, before lunging forward and constricting the crocodile tightly. He wrapped around so tightly that the crocodile's eyes bulged out, laughing when the crocodile was struggling for air. Well, he was laughing. For a moment at least.

In one final moment, when Kol was almost succeeding in killing the crocodile, the blasted thing chose to roll round and round, eventually dropping them in the swamp. Rebekah screamed, Klaus growled and trotted to the place that his brother fell in. Elijah, still trembling and murmuring prayers, edged slowly to the place, looking tentatively over the edge.

"AHHHHHH! Get away from me!" Elijah screamed, when the fight (or rolling) came up and put of the waters of the swamp again, inevitably forcing Elijah to join the rolling. He started being pummeled mercilessly, and in tears almost immediately.

Eventually, Kol strangled the irritating crocodile, but Elijah stopped crying, rising up and walking towards the now dead crocodile, lifting it and dropping it back into the water.

"Eee-yoh! What happened to you!" Kol blurted, afraid he had lost his only chance to make fun of one easily.

"I have been called many names, but I do not appreciate Eee-yoh, brother," Elijah warned, dusting his flippers.

* * *

**Aww man. Writer's block makes me suck. On other brighter news, The Originals are returning next week. I AM SO EXCITEDDD. THE SUFFERING IS OVER! and, please review and I will see you next week. Have a good day :D!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys! I'm back again the second time this week! I've got. Itching to do, so I might as well post this mini chapter! If you are really interested to know of Elijah's sudden change, read on!**

* * *

Chapter Twelve (Mini Chapter): Fear The Fugu

The three siblings edged further away from the penguin, shocked by the sudden behavioral change, narrowing their eyes in suspicion. Elijah widened his eyes in bewilderment and looked at his siblings' face one to another, not understanding the further distance made by his siblings.

"Why the sudden distance? I don't understand," Elijah asked, staring from one face to another.

"What do you all think happened to him?" Kol whispered like a conspiracist, taking a good look at the penguin.

Elijah gulped and continued staring as if he was in job interview, and if he could sweat, he would have drowned.

"It must be his diet. Carnivores never last long, come to think of it," Rebekah

"Hey! Carnivore here, you know!" Kol and Klaus protested together.

"Maybe because he's a bird. Birds have small brains." Klaus thought, reminiscing hummingbirds.

"Nik, don't be bird-cist! It's a capital offense!" Rebekah scolded, rapping her law on his head.

While the two siblings were fighting with themselves, talking about bird politics and this and that, Kol's sharp eyes saw that Elijah was constantly rubbing his stomach in one place, and only one place vigorously most of the time.

"Didn't you notice him rubbing hisssss sssssstomach all the time?" Kol whispered, eyes zeroing in to the spot, hitting his siblings.

"Yes I did. Never thought much of it though," Klaus answered.

Rebekah steeped forward and swiped Elijah's hand out of the way. After a few minutes, a weird ball shape with spikes emerged in the penguin's tummy. Klaus furrowed his eyebrows as if he had been offended, staring at the weird shape.  
And the worst and most disgusting part was, it was still moving.

"Oh my- BLEGH!" Kol vomited, regurgitating his last meal on to the swamps.

The vomit damaged a bit of the swamp's eco-system, and some fishes and crocodiles floated up. Klaus glared at his brother, who smiled at the floating dead swamp animals sheepishly.

"Hehe. Whoopssss. Sssssorry," Kol apologised, and if he could blush, his face would have been as red as a tomato.

Rebekah however, was not concerned by the damaged swamp eco-system, not even blinking at the floating fishes and crocodiles. She was closely scrutinizing the moving ball of spikes in Elijah's abdomen.

"Oh sister, it hurts so much. I can barely breathe!" Elijah whined like a high school cheerleader.

Rebekah eyed Elijah with annoyance, before using a finger of her paw to poke the mysterious shape. The spiked ball moved in the irritation at Rebekah's touch, and the eyes and mouth showed through the penguin's stomach.

Kol's face frozen in fear, eyes staring at the eye and mouth protruding out of his brother's stomach. Klaus came closer, unable to discern what this mysterious object was.

"Elijah. You have ssssswallowed... Ssssswallowed... _The fugu_," Kol whispered solemnly, like an explorer mentioning a legend.

Rebekah and Klaus gasped, heads darting back to Elijah's stomach. Elijah held his stomach and let out a strangled chirp. He rolled on his side and started crying, afraid that this few days were his last.

"Oh, I confess, I confess. I knew something was in me the moment Davina disguised as Shane's girlfriend fed me this strange raw fish. I thought it was sashimi, but when I realized that I was dying, I decided to live my life the more cheerful, childlike way, and then changed my mind and decided to live as who I am in the last few days of my life," Elijah sobbed, patting the poisonous fish in his abdomen.

"Elijah. We will not let you die. Kol, do you know anything else about this fish?" Klaus inquired, worried for his brother's life.

"Well, the only way of curing him is to empty out his ssssstomach and feed him activated charcoal. I know, eating charcoal'ssss weird, but I guessssss it'sssss the only way out," Kol mentioned, cocking his head to the stomach.

"How do you know so much?" Rebekah asked, suspicious.

"I WATCHED SOMEONE GET POISSSSONED!" Kol shouted, lifting the penguin up and back into Professor Shane's house.

Elijah sighed as he was being carried away, dreading the operation ahead of him.

* * *

**Well, we haven't seen the last of Davina, I can promise you that. This is also a mini chapter, so there went as many world as a normal one. SPOILER: The next chapter will feature mayhem in Elijah's operation. Shane will be back too. Goodbye, and have a good day :D! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi guys! Welcome back! As promised, here is another chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: Black Market Surgery

It couldn't be helped. Elijah was vomiting profusely, spasming and was now forming incoherent speeches. Klaus was kind of bummed out that they couldn't go ahead with his plan or fixing the horrifying disfigurement of themselves. However, the wolf looked at the penguin with utmost concern, worried that the end of his brother would be due to some stupid fugu fish.

"It's these times when you wish you were an Original," Klaus wistfully said, nudging the broken front door away so that Elijah's spamming body that was held up high could pass through.

"It's these times when you wished that your wolf-brained of a brother didn't push the Professor down the stairs! I never thought I'd say this, but we need Shane's opposable thumbs. There is no way we can perform surgery with paws." Rebekah retorted, glaring at her whimpering brother.

Kol placed his now epileptic brother in the rug, before going to the basement to call Professor Shane.

"Good morning, darling. We need your help. Like right now," Kol greeted, poking the Professor's head.

Shane refused to budge and was still unconscious. The snake widened his eyes, thinking that the professor was dead. _I hope he isn't dead. Wow, Kol. What rubbish are you thinking now?_ Kol thought, before licking the Professor's face.

Shane felt a tiny tongue lick his forehead, and he suddenly sat up, trying to see who it was. Ot turned out to be Kol, who barked like a dog which greeted its owner in the morning. Shane smiled, and tried to stroke the snake, but it edged away.

"I am sssssuing you for attempted rape, ssssir. But later. We have an emergency!" Kol shouted, dragging the Professor with him with his powerful tail.

"Gah! Stop! Please! Allow me to analyze this! This... THIS is fascinating!" Shane protested, trying to study the behavior the snake.

"Oh, sssshut the hell up!" Kol scolded, dragging the man along.

Poor, poor Elijah.

Still clad in bathrobes, Elijah still looked classy. Or at least, classy for an almost dead penguin.

"He was well dressed to the very end," Klaus admitted, looking at his out of control brother.

Though the penguin was spasming, he was still thinking about what his siblings would do if he actually died. The penguin shrugged in the inside, thinking that his term was well overdue. _Niklaus would probably just stare at my coffin with troubling thoughts in mind. Rebekah would be a sobbing mess, and Kol, well... He probably would vandalize and spray graffiti on my coffin._

_But it's alright. They are my siblings after all._

Klaus and Rebekah stared at there oldest brother solemnly. Kol was trying to explain to Shane upstairs what he wanted to be done with his brother with a computer.

"What do you think he is thinking of, sister?" Klaus asked, facing his sister solemnly for the first time since they re-entered the house.

"He's probably thinking about death and coffins. Since when was Elijah afraid to die? He deserves some permanent peace, Nik, for all he has done for us," Rebekah answered, sighing, staring at her brother.

Meanwhile, there was chaos in Shane's room. Kol was struggling to work with a 'thingamajig'. He struggled to turn on the Mac on Shane's desk, because he didn't know the button was at the back.

"This blasssted thingamajig'ssss got me ssssteaming! WHERE- WHERE THE HELL IS THE BUTTON!" Kol shouted, slapping the Mac with his tail.

"The button's at the back, Kol!" Rebekah's voice shouted, and Kol adjusted himself to look behind the Mac.

They snake adjusted himself to a spring, before scoffing at the button and using his tail to press it.

"I ussssed to think that SSSSSteve Jobssss was a geniussss, but putting the button at the back?! Jeez! That man'ssss too ssssmart for hissss own good!" Kol complained waiting for the computer.

Kol started the Microsoft Word, which took 'ages' according to him.

"Bill Gatesss is opening the gatessss to my insssanity! IT TAKES TOO LONG!" Kol shouted.

In actual fact, dear readers, it only took two minutes.

Shane stared at the snake in wonder. The intelligence of this snake fascinated him, and he was constantly taking down notes with a pencils and clipboard. Kol noticed this, and stuck out a forked tongue, slowly typing the letters.

"These buttons are too sssssmall!" Kol complained, tediously typing the keyboard.

"Fat finger!" Klaus sneered from downstairs.

"Shut up, lickety-split!" Rebekah chided, and there was a slapping noise.

A grunt of complain and pain followed.

After 15 grueling minutes and a cramped tail, Kol managed to type the words on the screen, Shane reading the words. He cringed at the spelling.

HEY SHAME! MY BROTHA SWEALLOWED A FRUGU FISH! DO THER OPERTRATIOUN NOW!

Shane read the words out, but shrugged, because he assumed that that grade of spelling was considered good for a snake. Kol was judging his expression with narrowed eyes, ready to slap him if he unappreciated it.

"I sssspent 15 minutesssss in hell and came back with a cramped tail for thisssss. You will APPRECIATE it," Kol declared, pointing to the screen, before slapping the Mac away. However, the Mac was heavier than expected. Kol fell against the printer, and printed the terrible spelling and photocopied his face.

He rolled into Shane's desk, and then landed into a small tub of glue that Shane used for sticking his wallpaper. The papers were all stuck to him.

"_Dayum_! New fashion!" Kol beamed, slithering out of the room.

"Dear God! What happened to Kol! Did he take a trip to Egypt?!" Klaus shouted, surprised at his brother covered in glue and papers.

"Well, we could sell him to Lady Gaga. I'm sure she'd appreciate it," Rebekah sniggered, flicking one of the papers.

Shane stuck vinyl operation gloves, ready to do the operation. He was practically beaming with excitement, and was bursting with adrenaline to operate on a penguin with a fugu fish in his stomach.

Shane carefully placed Elijah on an operating table, with a bright light illuminating the room. It was the same room as the one Kol got petrified in, but he was adamant to go in to 'help give moral support'.

"Please, Kol. Your moral support consists of 100% nagging, screaming and all-round mayhem," Rebekah scoffed.

"Your moral support makes us _need_ support," Klaus explained, pushing Kol out.

After five minutes of bickering, they decided to let Kol in, provided he didn't eat the stuff in the room. The snake agreed reluctantly, but was eager to go and see what was in his brother's body.

Shane placed a small mask over Elijah's beak, the 'anesthesia' he explained, was to make sure Elijah didn't wake up during surgery. Klaus shuddered at the fact. If someone woke up during their surgery, it would have been painful, not to mention traumatizing.

The Professor held his breath, grabbed a scalpel, and cut the penguin's stomach. Kol's face scrunched up, Rebekah wanted to throw up and Klaus stared at the cut grimly. Shane grimaced a the amount to fat in Elijah's stomach.

"The amount of fat is... Not very fascinating. It's more traumatizing actually," Shane admitted, pushing away the fats.

"Now _I_ need support! Nurssse! NURSSSE!" Kol shouted, fake fainting off the operation table.

Klaus rolled his eyes in amusement, before nudging the penguin' stomach. He could feel the fugu fish's shape in it, and nodded to acknowledge that. Rebekah nodded, confirming the fugu fish in her brother's stomach, placing a napkin on her brother's bloody snout.

"I ssssee it. The fugu fish'ssss in there. Now let'ssss get that big bassstard out, sssshall we?" Kol smiled, staring intently at the fugu.

Klaus growled, pawing roughly at his snake brother's head, and kept staring grimly at the bloody guts. He scoffed inside his head. _Elijah's got a bloody strong gut too._ Klaus thought, thinking of the similarities.

Suddenly, there was an alarming beeping from the machine. Shane immediately looked at the machine, and Elijah's stats were dropping badly. The Professor immediately stopped operating, and started taking doing CPR. Rebekah stared at her brother blankly, hoping that her brother wouldn't pass out.

"Assss much assss I hate him, I really wouldn't want hisss heart to give out," Kol sobbed, hugging his brother and accidentally constricting him tight. This stopped the blood flow and Elijah's stats were recovering. Shane was surprised and kept Kol constricting his brother, continuing to operate.

He cringed and then opened the stomach, seeing the flopping fugu fish inside. The three siblings stared at it with intense hatred, wanting to each grab a scalpel and stab it till it was bits and pieces. Shane saw that the three animals were furious against the fish, and left it alone instead of placing it back in his tank.

Concluding with the sealing up of the stomach and body, Shane carefully placed Elijah in the basement sofa while the three siblings ganged up on the trembling fugu. It's eyes were huge with fear, as if begging for its life, before all three of them stabbed it with a knife or scalpel at the same time.

"Screw you, fugu. Go drown in the depths of hell," Rebekah spat, twisting the blade around.

Shane covered Elijah with a blanket and came back to collect the fugu, but was shocked when the fugu was in pieces and knew that the three animals ganged up on it, scalpels and knifes in tails. He gulped and quickly exited, fearing for his life.

* * *

**So, what do you think? Feel free to leave a review or PM me. Speaking of operations, go watch Saving Hope, which has the sexy Daniel Gillies in it. 9pm, CTV, Thursday, in Canada, and if you are in other countries, you can find it online. Ok, enough of the shameless promotion, and have a good day!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen: Charcoal and Cat Soup

Klaus, Rebekah and Kol were gathered around Elijah, who was soundly sleeping behind his blankets, swaddled up like a baby. They sighed collectively, for he had been unconscious for three days.

"Do you really think he's dead, brothers?" Rebekah asked, staring at a sleeping Elijah.

"Well, he's holding on, Bekah," Klaus answered, pawing his sister's back softly.

The siblings fidgeted, for they have done nothing but stare at the unconscious penguin for days. Klaus was pacing around, and Kol shot out his tail violently at some times, for he couldn't be so still for a prolonged period of time.

"You know what? How about you two go make something for Elijah? I mean, patients are very hungry when they wake up, and seeing that you guys can't keep still, I suggest you go cook something," Rebekah suggested, sitting on the sofa.

"You're the woman! _You_ are the one that hassss to cook sssomething," Kol protested, cooking not his specialty.

"Gender roles are quite interchangeable now, Kol. This isn't the 10th century any more," Klaus explained, padding into the kitchen, dragging the thrashing snake away.

"No! NO! I REFUSSSSE TO COOK!" NOOOOO!" Kol screamed, as he was dragged away.

The brothers entered the kitchen upstairs, and Klaus locked the door so that his brother would not forsake him. Kol sulked in a corner, keeping his form small in the edge of the kitchen. Klaus sighed exasperatedly.

"It's not that bad, Kol. Cooking is an art that helps you relive the pleasures of human life," Klaus explained nudging his brother who had turned his back against the entire kitchen.

"The pleassssure of human life? What issss human life, anyway? A lifetime'ssss worth of ssssuffering and pain and manipulation, I daresssssay," Kol retorted, twisting so that his body faced the wall and his head faced Klaus.

"Well, I'll make sure you will do the minimal work, since you hate cooking so much," Klaus offered eyes glinting with deception.

"Deception in your eyesss, brother. I'm not blind. But a challenge I will not refusse," Kol challenged, head held up high in pride.

"We will see, we will see," Klaus accepted, smirking wolfishly.

Klaus and Kol were messing up Shane's shelve of cookbooks and bickering bitterly about what they should cook Elijah. It made them quite enraged.

"We should cook the sirloin steak. A grand meal for a grand return. Fits the occasion," Klaus interjected, pawing the recipe in the book trapped his jaws.

"Elijah returning to the world of living isssss hardly grand. My pressssence isssss grander than that! We ssssshould, cook... Ah! Thissss ssssspaghetti bolognessse," Kol suggested, jabbing the page.

"Ugh! Elijah has a beak, remember? He can't eat spaghetti!" Klaus countered, flipping the book away.

"Oh right. That idiot hassss a beak. I forgot. How about... Thissss fried egg?" Kol asked, pointing at the page.

"You can't be serious," Klaus replied, disgusted by Kol's choice.

"We might assss well let him eat detergent then! Helpssss to wassssh the toxinssss out of hissss fatassss body," Kol blew up, agitated, flipping all the books in an angry swipe of his tail.

Klaus growled and got up, quickly nudging the books back into a pile. Kol was back facing the wall with a compressed body. The wolf shook his head, before slowly opening the books and reading the recipes. Ah. Fish soup. Let's just hope this ends well for us. Klaus thought, calling Kol to stop sulking against the wall.

"Fish soup, alright for you? Can't believe I asking you this, Kol," Klaus asked, pawing the book.

"In a dietary ssssensssse, not alright, but ssssseeing thissss issss for a penguin, I guesssss it will have to do,"

Klaus scoffed at the ridiculousness of this recipe choosing, going closer to the page and reading the recipes. Kol smirked at his brother, thinking of ways to make the whole thing a catastrophe. Klaus noticed this, and narrowed his eyes, not willing to be overtaken by his brother.

Usually, this spelled disaster perfectly. It's something you wouldn't want to spell correctly.

"Oh it'sssss on!" Kol hissed, twisting and turning, making a quick exit.

"Now I know how Elijah feels about watching over us," Klaus realised, running after his brother.

Reading the recipe on the cookbook, Kol decided to get the fish first. Slithering quickly into Elijah's makeshift operation room, he looked at the animals in the tanks and cages. There were no marine animals there, much less an edible fish. The snake shrugged and then pulled a random cat out of its cage and brought it out.

But the cat wasn't going to have that. Feeling it's body be restricted, it started to struggle, thrashing around. Kol rolled his eyes and tightened his body up, effectively killing the cat.

"WHERE IS HE!" Klaus bellowed, anxious to find his brother, bulldozing every box or crate in his way. If he didn't find Kol in time, it would spell disaster for Elijah's returning meal.

He skulked to the operation room, seeing a cage that seemed to be forced open, it's tag unreadable for it was torn deliberately, if Klaus was not wrong. The wolf flipped the cage with two of his paws, dashing out of the room, trying to catch his brother.

"Doo doo doo..." Kol sang, as he placed the herbs and vegetables in the boiling water, as well as the cut up cat. No one would ever know, for he had meticulously cleared any trace of fur whatsoever. He may be a snake, but he still possessed his ability to hide stuff. The snake put his tail into a spring and balanced the pot moving quickly out of the kitchen.

Klaus dashed into the kitchen, but found that Kol and the big pot was not there anymore! Klaus collapsed, mumbling a few prayers that Elijah would be alright. He slowly walked to the sofa with dread, closing his eyes.

"Here you go, Elijah. Hehehe..." Kol served, putting a fake patronizing smile. His eyes were full of glee though.

"Oh god. May the Lord deliver Kol's soup from Elijah's mouth," Klaus prayed, staring at the groggy penguin, who was lying down on some cushions.

"I know I what that patronizing face means, Kol, but Elijah's hungry, so it will have to do," Rebekah sighed, feeding Elijah the soup.

Kol's eyes widened in anticipation and glee, lips joining together thinly into a evil smile. Klaus watched in horror, laying down and covering his eyes. Rebekah gulped, knowing she could only watch as the spoon went into Elijah's open mouth.

"BLEGH! It tastes... Queer. What did you out in it?" Elijah spat, painfully swallowing the soup.

"Oh... I don't know... Ssssome cat..." Kol nonchalantly replied, pretending to look at the scales of his tail like a girl would look at her fingernails.

"Wha- WHAT! A CAT?!" Klaus shouted at the snake's face. Elijah flipped the spoon Rebekah was holding away.

"Why would you do that, brother? YOU COULD KILL ELIJAH!" Rebekah exploded, flipping the big pot of soup at the startled snake.

"Ow, my sssskin!" Kol complained, stroking his skin with his tail. The soup was still burning hot.

Elijah sighed, covering his head with the cushions so he wouldn't have to see his siblings bicker over his meals. _I'm back to the world of the living and I have_ _to deal with this._ He sighed inwardly, trying to fall asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello, and welcome back! Here's another chapter for you all! **

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: Dude, Where's My Car?

Summer was soon approaching. The weather became relentless under the 90 degree weather. Klaus was continuously panting, walking to and for the basement, Kol was hogging up the freezer by locking himself in and Elijah was in the bath the entire day. Rebekah seemed perfectly fine, though.

"I don't understand why you all are overreacting! I mean, its hot, but it's not that hot. I actually like the weather, to be honest," Rebekah persuaded, lying on the couch comfortably.

Klaus stared at his sister incredulously, looking at her as if she was mad.

"Are you insane? I never complained about the weather, but I was a hybrid back then. Now, the weather seems atrocious! How did we put up with this a thousand years ago?!" Klaus screamed, now rolling in the floor for extra cooling effect.

"Global warming, brother. The earth's getting warmer. I do not believe that the earth was this warm a thousand years ago, brother," Elijah explained, loud enough to be heard from the sofa.

"Sssave the world... Make it a better place..." Kol sang, whose voice was so terrible all of his siblings cringed at it.

"For once, that song was appropriate for the occasion. Occasions that weren't caused by us, I mean," Rebekah sulked, plugging her ears so that she could not hear the horrible off-key singing.

Shane came out of the ground floor of the house, sweating buckets and only wearing boxers. He crawled into the basement like a man in the desert, tongue coming out. Rebekah closed her eyes so she wouldn't see that terrible sight.

"I'm telling you, the heat's worse upstairs. The basement is the coolest part of the house-" Shane started.

"If it is cool even," Klaus interrupted, rolling in the stone floor some more.

"Ha!" Elijah snorted, and splashing of water following.

"Insssstead of complaining of the heat, how about we tell about how Elijah indirectly killed Princesssss Diana?" Kol suggested, tapping the freezer door.

"I never forgave myself for that," Elijah confessed.

"What?! Tell me more," Klaus asked, suddenly interested.

"Elijah zoomed across the car because he was really drunk. Like freaking intoxicated. Rare times, brothers, rare times," Rebekah reminisced.

"He wasssss like a rocket, and wassss ssssscreaming 'Wheeee' like a child with aeroplane armssss. He wasssss like Robot Usssssain Bolt fast,' Kol explained, adding a 'whoosh' effect.

"Elijah then vaulted over the car like a stuntman, and then... The inevitable." Rebekah whispered.

"Wow, Elijah. Way to let yourself go," Klaus tutted.

"I secretly went to her funeral. Never had been more sorry," Elijah apologised.

"Got drunk again and then ran across the world, including the oceans. Practically ran so fast he skidded on the oceans," Rebekah laughed.

"Elijah doessssn't skid. He _glidessss_," Kol mocked, tapping the freezer.

"Hey guys, I will just go to the car, I mean, I can turn the air con there," Shane announced, getting up the stone floor.

Klaus suddenly got up his feet, Elijah suddenly peeked out of the bathroom, Kol busted out of the freezer, leaving a hole in the freezer.

"Airrrr cooooon," Klaus spoke in reverence, like a tribal person that never heard of it before.

"Did ssssomeone sssay air con?" Kol purred, slithering out of the freezer, leaving icicles behind him.

"I believe that is the case," Elijah confirmed, pulling together a black tie.

"Nik! You sound like that day when you found out that Caroline liked horses! Hooooorsessss, you said," Rebekah complained, getting up and out of the sofa.

Shane took the keys out of his boxers, and Elijah swiped out with his slippery stomach and slapped him hard while jumping up. The keys fell out and Klaus grabbed them with his teeth, and threw it into Rebekah's pouch. She hopped quickly out with Kol in front of her, busting down the door. Again.

"Mikaelssson powa, motherfacka!" Kol shouted in triumph, before getting out the front door.

"How rude, Kol. Do not use such language," Elijah scolded, opening the car door with the keys.

"Kol doessssn't lissssten to nobody. Hell no," Kol mocked, getting into the back with Klaus.

"Do I have to sit with him? He's like the biggest diva I have ever met," Klaus complained.

Elijah rolled his eyes, for even he didn't want to sit with his youngest brother. He placed the key in and pushed it, but found out he couldn't turn it.

"Why is it taking so long, Elijah!" Rebekah screamed, the stuffiness of the car overtaking her.

"I can't seem to turn the key. Flippers rarely do turning, sister," Elijah excused, trying to push the key to turn it.

"Then just like, do ssssomething! Like, turning the key!" Kol panicked, shaking the entire car.

"That's what he's doing, idiot," Klaus retorted, clawing his brother, who screamed in 'agony'.

"SHUT YOUR TRAP!" Elijah shouted, banging on the window. Kol was silenced immediately, sulking in a corner, Klaus froze in place, paws in midair like a cheerleader and Rebekah gave them a 'no-no' look.

"You really don't want to piss off Elijah in this inconvenient time, guys," Rebekah warned, furrowing her eyes and glaring at the backseat.

The penguin, now taking slow, deep breaths, tried to turn the key once again. He placed a flipper on the key, and turned with all his might, and the heavenly sound of an ignition was heard.

"HALLELUJAH!" Kol exploded, feeling cold air wafting to his face.

"We had our fair share of Christian songs in the 11th century by castrated monks, Kol," Klaus groaned, covering his ears with Shane's pillows.

"I want to castrate you so bad," Rebekah hissed, giving snake eyes of her brother.

Feeling the cold air con wash over his face, Elijah again let out a happy long mix of chirping and  
purring, much like the time Davina (disguised as Shane's girlfriend) cuddled him. He snatched one of the bolsters and wanted to fall asleep.

"Wow. If the orchestra is missing a piccolo, they could use Elijah," Klaus smirked, hearing the chirping and purring continue.

Kol laughed, imitating the sound of a piccolo. (Have you heard one? It's actually really spritely sounding.) Rebekah nodded, comparing the chirping and purring to it, and it will actually relatively similar.

Suddenly Klaus got up, opening his eyes wide. Kol and Rebekah noticed his sudden franticness, and turned their attention to him.

"What issss it Nik? You sssseem... Dissssturbed," Kol noted, scrutinizing the wolf.

"Well, remember when I saw the home of the Salvatore's a long, long way?" Klaus asked.

"Yup. Clear as a summer day, Nik," Rebekah affirmed.

"We could drive there, don't you think?" Klaus observed, staring at the steering wheel.

"Ahhhh. I ssssee what you did there," Kol understood, looking at the buttons of the car.

* * *

**Finally a progression in the plot line! Thank you SO, SO much for sticking with me and my weird story. I really appreciate it. Feel free to leave a review, and Happy Chinese New Year!**


End file.
